I'm tired. In more ways then one. I not only need sleep, but I'm tired of this life. There is nothing here for me anymore. Its the most frustrating thing in the world. This used to be the place where I couldn't wait to come back to. Now I can't wait to get away. Its not that the things here don't mean anything to me, its just that this isn't me anymore. I'm doing everything I can to just get away for a while. I'm planning a trip to Des Moines in the immediate future. My dad didn't sound too excited for me to go, but I don't think I'm going to let that stop me. I also plan on going to Wisconsin as soon as I possibly can. I plan on being there as much as I can. I suppose we'll see how it all works out. I sit and think that I only have two and a half months left. To some it may seem like a blink of an eye. To me its eternity. Everything has changed so much. I'm just trying to find my place in it all.
The ground hog is back. We have this ground hog that lives under our shed. I think he is the cutest little thing in the whole. Next to my cat, of course. But my mom absolutely despises it. He or she has eaten almost all of her plants. He's just hungry. Just let the little creature eat.
When I get paid on Friday I am going out and buying myself a digital camera. I can't wait. I think its time to spoil myself. It has been years since I have. I need to learn to take a few more risks. Even if it is just going out and buying something I want though I don't really need it. I imagine most of my pictures will be taken of Cleo. Or just other random things. I just can't wait to get it. Its something to look forward to anyways.
"waiting for a lift to the next floor. standing on the hinge of a trap door. i don't want to here anymore. i don't want to be here anymore. get me on the next bus to soho. show me to a face that i don't know. i don't want to be here anymore. i don't want to be here anymore."
Random Thought of the Day: My mom is in love with Johnny Depp.
The ground hog is back. We have this ground hog that lives under our shed. I think he is the cutest little thing in the whole. Next to my cat, of course. But my mom absolutely despises it. He or she has eaten almost all of her plants. He's just hungry. Just let the little creature eat.
When I get paid on Friday I am going out and buying myself a digital camera. I can't wait. I think its time to spoil myself. It has been years since I have. I need to learn to take a few more risks. Even if it is just going out and buying something I want though I don't really need it. I imagine most of my pictures will be taken of Cleo. Or just other random things. I just can't wait to get it. Its something to look forward to anyways.
"waiting for a lift to the next floor. standing on the hinge of a trap door. i don't want to here anymore. i don't want to be here anymore. get me on the next bus to soho. show me to a face that i don't know. i don't want to be here anymore. i don't want to be here anymore."
Random Thought of the Day: My mom is in love with Johnny Depp.
1 Comments:
Jean saw your site on Josh's Castle of Love and just had to read! For what its worth, I think your feeling of not belonging here seems to be a common feeling this summer with kids just moving home from their first year of college. This is especially true with someone we both know and love. I think if he could go back today, he would be gone. I think its a sign you guys are growing up and getting on with your life or at least trying...stay busy seeing old friends and trying new things and these next few months will just fly by
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